My World Work

30 June 2011

by Jake Roseman

I wanted to write an article to describe my first Worldwork conference, which I attended in Denver, CO, USA in April this year but as I write this I also want to write about what Worldwork means to me now. Part of the reason I liked being in Worldwork was that there was an emphasis on embracing all perspectives around the political and social issues we discussed. We celebrated diversity of people, some 300 from over 30 countries, and also looked at problems with a focus of awareness of what was trying to happen in each situation and supporting all the parts and people to communicate with each other toward contact and relationship outside of conflict.

However this does not seem to be true in the moment. Currently, I'm writing during a night shift, sitting by the bedside of Peter who is currently detained in the psychiatric hospital I work in through the UK mental health act. He is feared to be depressed and has declined a potentially life-saving gastric operation although under the mental health act if he is deemed by a psychiatrist to not have 'mental capacity', a term used to refer to something like the ability to be 'sane', the mental health professionals can then go ahead with Peter's operation regardless.

I can see a message here that controlling others is sometimes necessary. That must mean that to be controlled at certain times is also important, maybe essential for awareness of our individual search for meaning underneath our modern primary process of assuming we're in control.

But I am also afraid of being stuck in this world of control and I am continuing to write now on sick leave from work which I took to take a break from it in sunny Bratislava, Slovakia. Still, I want to continue writing about the Worldwork conference. I want to tell you for example about the dancers from the Denver POWWOW who started the conference, showing us Native American warrior and community dances which set a tone for a focus on Earth connection throughout the event. During the week we had a chance to create our own movement meditation that used the four directions of the Earth and the four basic elements to connect with our personal direction in the world and intentions for the future.

Its clear I am interested in being involved in the world but doing it so I am supported to do it, trying to achieve being held. Am I held in the moment?

I try being aware; It seems I have a secondary process of noticing gravity, that is I didnt purposefully intend to be overweight to notice gravity but I notice that is something that happens when I explore my extra weight. When I follow gravity I lie down and yet I notice I want to be more comfortable and I want relief from a movement I am making where I am tugging at my beard (my photo isn't completely accurate anymore). Now I'm writing again I feel no urge to tug, I guess that getting involved in the world is one way to feel in control of an urge to connect with others but is it enough?

I realise one thing I have learned since Worldwork is that perhaps only through awareness can we be sure that we can be in relationship with the Earth, as we all are, and be ok with it.
How does this relate to my work with others such as Peter though? He was controlled to stay alive and that along with my reaction to it helped me see how I try maintain my identity as whole already and yet I also want to be aware of gravity's pull on me and the connection with the Earth/wholeness it alludes to.

I am grateful at the moment for the the world work needed to help me get to this point both intentional and unintentional, why? I feel ok about being alive and being in this world,  I know that through wanting to share with others and also wanting to find out if enagagement with the world allows me to spin with it smoothly.